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I wrote this on Facebook Notes because... I was fucking FRUSTRATED:

"Last time I wrote a note I just went all out in a "Charlie" mood, I guess, but this time I just feel I'll say what's on my mind...It's not like I try to be this way during May and June, but my body hates these months, and all of these evil little weird thoughts come into my head.During May it's so crazy that I loose myself in the shuffle... "You better Join us, before you get lost in the shuffle..." sorry, I just missed my stop on the Shuffle train. May has so many birthdays, and I hate my birthday, because I feel like no one likes me. Yes, I have a self-esteem issue, but having very little friends just makes it worse. I haven't actually had any true "best friends'' until 9th and 10th grade, because of these issues with friends.Ya see, when I was younger all I ever had happen was me being picked on, or harrassed by people, so I built this wall around my heart, soul, and trust where no one can could touch it... sadly, this wall was knocked down.Yes, it's sort of freaky, because the person who basically knocked the entire thing down thinks I'm mad at him. Yes, it's a guy. I don't get what's going through his head, but I can NEVER be mad at him... frustrated, yes, mad, no. There's a huge SUBER DE DUPER difference for me. Mad is when I'm pushed towards my limit, and my eyes are blue, green or turquoise. I act jumpy, talk in 3rd person, and mutter consistintly to myself, either under my breath or in random snippets. I have to tap my fingers or bounce my leg, and when I talk it's literally: "Chelsea says you should shut the fuck up because you're fucking pissing her off" instead of "Just be quiet, so and so... I don't wanna hear it."Frustration is where I'll get pissed, but I will keep my cool.. I hardly wanna talk to the person until I get it outta my system [like 2 days, or until I talk to the person about what the fuck is frustrating me... or both] and when I do talk it's just short little snippets of random conversations. In this mood I'll randomly laugh and talk to myself in 1st person, rather than in 3rd, and I'll basically confuse people.So, if you decide to read this, and you actually make it this far, Mr. OMG-Chelsea's-Mad-At-Me-We-are-slowly-becoming-less-friends, that's not true. I'm not mad, and I'll get over it. You should too. Because if we're not as close as we ever were, and we can't trust each other, then the walls going back up, and the doors will be sealed forever, and I'll go back into my little seclusion of being quiet, and being alone. Understood?And also, don't be mad at me, cause I truly don't mean to be "mad" at you, but sometimes I needa just not talk at times, and sort out my thoughts. Even the best of friends have fights, ya know. :)"

except it was more spaced out.. but I felt like saying what was on my mind for the time being :)